2. 10th-21st March 2021

As my GP had said the breast clinic did contact me within 2 days and offered an appointment on the 22nd of March - it seems a lifetime away but was within the two week cancer wait timetable so I'm lucky really. Considering all the delays that the pandemic has brought I really am so very grateful that my GP took my concerns seriously and has ensured that I will receive any required treatment at the earliest possible opportunity - that to get treatment but I am just eternally grateful for the service the NHS is providing me at the moment.

Now that I have my appointment date it means I have to tell someone else my news. Maybe I have been keeping it to myself in the vain hope that if I tell no-one it can't possibly be true. Would telling someone make it real? I have to say it still felt very surreal - like it was happening around me but not to me - a very strange feeling.

I went to see my manager and she couldn't have been kinder, obviously she agreed to the time off and said she would mark the rota up discreetly so that the whole department wasn’t alerted.

I then wanted to tell a couple of friends, one because she is my oldest work friend and one because she works in the breast clinic and I wanted her to do my tests. This was quite emotional as I was so terrified but as always they were both wonderful and A agreed to take care of me at my appointment.

As the days passed I did tell a couple of other work colleagues (friends) as they could see I wasn't myself and I just needed their support, which came at me in spades.

I still said nothing to my family as it just didn't seem the right time - they didn't need the extra worry when it may not be necessary. Although, deep down, I knew this wasn't right and I knew it would be bad news - and life carries on.